September 26, 2011

the immaculate misconception

A conversation came to my attention the other day.


A conversation between two of my new and somewhat casual friends.


They were talking about how immaculate my house and garden are.

That was the word they used.

Immaculate.

(That noise you hear is the hysterical laughter of every single person who knows me in real life.)


They were wondering how I do it all.


In the end, one of the friends said, "I am such a failure!"


The person telling me about this conversation was very sweetly complimenting me and my house and my garden, and believe you me, I'll take compliments any day of the week.


But. The conversation made me sad. Sad that a friend could think they are even in the failure neighborhood because they can't live up to an illusion.


I am a lot of things, but immaculate is most definitely not one of them. My house never has been and never will be immaculate. Yes, I'll pick up the house when I know someone's stopping by, but drop in unexpectedly, and you're likely to see a different picture.


I am not ever going to win an award for housekeeper of the year. On any given day, you can write your name in the dust on my furniture, and my broom doesn't get used nearly as often as it should. We won't even talk about my bathrooms.


As far as the garden goes, it's full of weeds. Weeds that are ready to go to seed.


I am easily distracted. Right now? Right this very moment? I should be making cookies to send in a care package to my overseas soldier. Homeboy needs some cookies, but instead I'm writing a blog post and that means that I'll be in a huge rush later today to get the package to the post office in time.


I should be editing senior pictures that are due this evening. I should be packing for a trip I'm taking. But instead, I'm blogging.


I should also be doing laundry.

My hubby gets irritated with me on a fairly regular basis, (rightly so), because he has no socks or underwear in his drawers.


I am unorganized. I love to write lists, but more often than not, I lose the list.

I'm a procrastinator. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.


Don't get me wrong. I've got plenty of strengths, too. I work very, very well under pressure. I can get so much done when I've got an important deadline on the horizon, it would make your head spin. I'm like a Tasmanian Devil on steroids when push comes to shove. When company is coming, I can get my A-game on with the best of them. A wedding in my back yard? Do. Not. Get. In. My. Way.


But in the day to day, more often than not, I am a hot mess of good intentions, craft project carnage, and empty underwear drawers.


Now, if you find yourself telling me in the comments not to be so hard on myself, you've totally missed the point of this post. I'm not dissing myself in any way, shape or form.

I just wanted to tell you that immaculate perfection isn't real.

But I'm pretty sure you already knew that anyway.

I don't do it all, and I sincerely hope I've never led you to believe that I do. Of course, I have creative control with my blog. I only show pretty pictures of pretty flowers and a neat house. I'm fairly sure you don't want to see pictures of my laundry pile, but rest assured, it exists and it's a big one.

No matter what anyone's life looks like from the outside, no matter how pretty, peaceful or dazzling the photos you see here or anywhere else, real life has always got at least a few bumps and blemishes.


The gauge of life's success or failure is in how you live it, not how it looks.

Happy Monday!

77 comments:

  1. Amen, fabulous post, i really needed to read thoughts like this today. Thank you so much. xo,

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! I totally could've written this post... well, except for the part where someone mistakes me for having an immaculate house/garden. My friends all know me much much better than that :)
    It's good to know that I'm not the only one!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like you even more Teresa! You too have a great Monday and you'll git 'er done - just have fun doing it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved this post...in fact love all your posts..You live in a spot where I have dreamed about living...looks so peaceful....great job..

    ReplyDelete
  5. So true...it's really easy to look at people on the outside and think their lives are so much better/easier/cleaner than your own. It's also easy to put on that front.

    Being real is a good thing, and the reality is that none of us are perfect, and that's perfectly okay. (:

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good stuff. I've been seeing this theme around "blogland" lately.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I could have written this post! (Although I'm pretty sure no one has ever gushed about my garden. :) It's especially easy in bloggyland to make loads of assumptions.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is good. V-E-R-Y good.... because... I'd always suspected that you were real. {Big hug}

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aren't we funny creatures? To assume that one human is any less human than the rest of us. But it is oh so easy to do. And yet we all know better. Crazy humans. Now my dear, here is the secret....closer, closer....(typed oh, so quietly) the secret to getting away with an empty underwear drawer is....pie. Yes. You heared me correctly. Pie. If there is pie in the house they don't really mind. Now which would you rather do-laundry or make pie? Ummmmhum. Me too, so go make some pie...finish the undies later!

    ReplyDelete
  10. So Teresa, you are just like the rest of us??? You're wonderful to take the pressure off, otherwise how could I ever have you over?

    Still think you take the most beautiful pictures, are an amazing gardener, an incredible mom, are an awesome lady, still love you!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  11. Get those cookies in
    the oven, girlie!! I am
    sure one soldier could
    care less about his mom
    being perfect : )
    xx Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG, you described me in a nutshell. I am such a procrastinator, but can definitely get it done under pressure.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I could have commented when I read this earlier today, but I procrastinated!

    Thanks for THIS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just did our first wedding last Sunday and learned so much. It's kind of a blurrrr now but we kicked into action and did what we needed to do and some....and now I know...don't get in our way!!! My hubbie asked me the other day if I could possibly do some laundry, maybe just underwear.
    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  15. My first visit to your blog! And what a timely post for me to read! Thank you for sharing from the heart.

    Blessings,

    ReplyDelete
  16. ~I am a hot mess of good intentions, craft project carnage, and empty underwear drawers.~

    and this is why i adore you theresa! you keep it real, and you are funny to boot. and, uh, quite possibly cause that could describe me too;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Boy did this post come at a good time. It's so easy for me to think that everyone else has it all together and I can't seem to manage to keep up with anything. Thanks for reminding me that everyone has good days and bad days and that we're all doing our best on any given day!

    Betsy

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well I'm just glad to hear all that but I still think you're perfect :) Just kidding, well only a little, but aren't we bloggers all the same - who's going to take a picture of that pile of dog hair in the corner of the den and then blog about it, right? Well, I dunno, I might, things have been mighty slow around here lately. Hope you got those cookies made and hope you ate a big handful, send me some (c/o Virginia, USA) next time okay?

    Hugs,
    Mary @ Redo

    ReplyDelete
  19. What?? Your not perfect?? Oh, and all along I've thought you were superwoman! LOL. I am "a hot mess of good intentions" right along with you! Thanks for keeping it real! Shall I send you my address so you know where to send the extra cookies?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had a few real life girlfriends over the other day and actually had to add a disclaimer before they came in the house and strolled the gardens...real people live here, ignore the stained carpet and weeds in the garden! I think cropping has a lot to do with our unreal expectations. It's so easy to find a clean corner in our homes to take a picture of! Thanks for keeping it real, Patty

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Teresa,
    I was going to comment earlier, but being the procrastinator that I am, decided to wait until later :) Craft project carnage is common at my house too. Thanks for keeping it real, but your house is darling, dust bunnies or not!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very well said, NONE of us have perfect and it is nice to hear someone speak to that reality.

    Your photos though . . . wonderfully perfect for me!

    It was a treat to hear from you today. Any more wedding pics to show us?

    ReplyDelete
  23. I just have to say this is probably one of my favorite posts. I can relate. And LOVE the pictures of your flowers :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. ...and I come here for those "pretty pictures" and glimpses into your "mysterious" life...well it seems mysterious to me anyway!!!
    Have a beautiful and productive week...or not...whichever makes you happiest :-)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I knew I liked you! :) Thanks for writing posts that are so relate-able. Have a great time on your trip!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hey, did you sneak over to my house and get this post from my husband? Cuz you're really describing life in my house!

    I've been known to shove a few things out of the way when taking my pictures :) I'm a great list maker... they just don't always get checked... so I start another one. And I'm a tad bit of a procrastinator myself, believe it or not, I made my own wedding dress way, way back.... and I was sewing the buttons on the NIGHT BEFORE my own wedding. My mother in law told me to go to the guest room and not come back until it was done! We all still laugh about that one.

    Seriously, I think we all know that none of us are perfect... but I for one enjoy the lighter side of blogging and appreciate all of the gorgeous photos you and others create... both the picture and the subject(s)! If I wanted a bit more reality, well I can always take a look around my own place ;)

    ~Chris

    PS And the sock and underwear dilema? Well I just bought a bunch more so that he doesn't run out.

    ReplyDelete
  27. If you kept up on the laudry and the weeding, where would we go for those beautiful pictures? Go with your strengths...and yours is photography. No one will ever remember your dusty tables, but your pictures will last a long time. Thanks for being candid. It's nice to know you're just like everybody else.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Great post! I know how much time growing and planting out a gazillion zinnias would take, so since there are only so many hours in a day, I'm sure something has to give somewhere in your life. My husband and I have a saying we use a LOT: "All you can do is all you can do." Try that with your hubby when he has no clean socks and see if it works??? (And bake more cookies to keep for him.)

    ReplyDelete
  29. i loved this post! I just did a marketplace on my farm and everyone said the same things about our yard...they didn't realize that we spent two straight weeks weeding, raking, and straightening up because we hadn't done a dang thing all summer long!!:D
    Those pictures were beautiful!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. A.M.E.N. People are always telling me that one day I will have 'peace and quiet!' With six children, hubby, business, acreage, garden, chickens, etc etc our life is pretty hectic...BUT I'm going for peace amongst the chaos! That's where real life happens. Thanks again for your pretty pictures (I can look at dirty laundry any day!)
    Shani

    ReplyDelete
  31. Brilliant post. Brilliant photos. That last one is so -so -so beautiful.

    And it goes along with what I learned (finally!) about 3 weeks ago ... it will NEVER all get done and that's ok. I live to get my to-do list all crossed off. But if I live to be 110, on the day that I die, there will still be things on that list. I just try to do the best I can, make wise decisions about my time, take some time off frequently to have a little fun, and remember "It will never be all done."

    I love your definition of success, too.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I think you said it all with the last line. I really love this post! I wish everyone would stop feeling the need to live up to or be compared to others and start living their lives...dust and all. :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Well said! A terrific post! I've been reading a few bloggers say recently that other blogs make them feel sad or inadequate - we never should! Your last line says it all.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yep. That's what I was talking about here:
    http://tree-shades.blogspot.com/2011/06/behind-closed-doors-post-dedicated-to.html

    Love your house and garden anyways :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Today was the day I needed to hear that! Perfect timing, but...um...yeah I would like to see that laundry pile. You know for verification.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Life isn't supposed to be perfect, it's simply supposed to be lived to the fullest. I do have to say that your photos are perfect though! And congrats on the winning the Country Living award, it's well deserved!

    Kat :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh man! I'm disappointed...I work for a DNA company and I was going to have you cloned. Ah well, you are right there with the rest of us..making do and making pretty. It's a great life and who wants perfection all of the time, anyway..I figure it a good week if I give it 100%...15% on Monday, 12% on Tuesday..25% on Wednesday.....heehee

    ReplyDelete
  38. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  39. oh! now i love you even more!!! and really wish we were neighbors :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. There's nary a dustball or a weed around here. I am on the cover of Shape magazine and I am singing the national anthem at the presidential inauguration. Oops, sorry I was daydreaming.

    ReplyDelete
  41. What a great post! I can relate to most of it, but the part about you being able to go into high gear.. I am a prize winning sloth. LOL

    Teresa :-)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh my gosh!! I could be reading about myself - I too never manage to get the laundry put away, procrastinate and my hubby calls me far too organic - so glad I'm not the only one!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. hehe...I am the exact same way. procrastinate. start. abandon.

    I can't fake it as well as you do, though. So you must be just a teensy bit immaculate. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Just popped by after visiting Verde Farms. What a great post! Beautiful photos and you made Mom laugh with your 'confessions' ;) We'll be back another day to check on your immaculateness ;D

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

    ReplyDelete
  45. You are generous to write this post. A lot of us only want the world to see us at our best. I like real in other people. I hold myself to a different standard. I'm in the process of trying to change that.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Nice,,Thanks for sharing and keeping it real,,,,My son contracts today,,,I'll have a son that is willing to serve his country too,,,
    Blessings,,

    ReplyDelete
  47. I think that part of the charm of blogs is the rosy picture they show of the host. Fun to read and fun to strive for. {even though we all know perception is not always reality}

    ReplyDelete
  48. Amen! Now, give me a gorgeous picture of your laundry! ha. I will if you will! I could take one right now of about five loads on my bed needing to be folded. hee hee! Blessings and thanks for your words of truth!

    ReplyDelete
  49. LOL, are you related to my mother? She has a great A-game, too, with 86 years to perfect it. Me, I have to find a Star Trek rerun on YouTube before I can settle down to sort socks.

    Bless you and your hubby for raising such a wonderful family.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I can so relate to this post (all the procrastinating). I get a lot of the non-important stuff done every day, like a little knitting, a little photography; not so much laundry!

    I hope your soldier is doing well.

    ReplyDelete
  51. oh I think it's time for some 'keepin' it real' in blogland, and didn't you do a great job in getting it going. I just got an email today from a new blog friend that said seeing my house in a mess the other day gave he such a sense of comfort. Ha! It is sad that other people measure themselves by what they see in others. Oh, and I'm right there with you - I work great under pressure, so I just keep myself in a pressure situation with procrastination. Hey - if it ain't broke - don't fix it! xo (I don't even vacuum everyday anymore....I know!)

    ReplyDelete
  52. I'm the same way! Only, no one has ever accused me of being immaculate...darn!
    I love your last line. Can I steal it?

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hey Teresa ~ I could've written this post myself! My family and friends think that my house is always so neat and clean, and while it usually is on the surface, I could dare them to look in my fridge (though they wouldn't want to), in my oven, in closets, my basement, and any high place (dusty!) - and they would easily see that my house isn't so clean after all! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thank you for your transparency!
    And, as always, your amazing photos!

    ReplyDelete
  55. When people accuse me of being an immaculate anything I tell them, smoke and mirrors baby, smoke and mirrors ;)

    Blogger won't let me use my blog name. I am Life In Red Shoes, nice to meet you :)

    ReplyDelete
  56. I am the same as you, people think i spend my days cleaning and cooking, they say your house is always so tidy, and smells so nice (all the cookies i have been making ) but look closely my friends and there is a couple of cobwebs, here and there, with 4 grown sons, 8 grandchildren you cant always be tidy, i want to enjoy my Family not be known as a fussy nana who is always cleaning.xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  57. Love your blog. Happened onto it because I was searching for vintage kitchen ideas. This is my first time visiting and I'm certain I'll return.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Well, you just became my new favorite farm blog!

    ReplyDelete
  59. I am so glad you shared this. I am a photographer and specialize in making people look beautiful. I know their best angles, and can remove 10 to 20 pounds in a few seconds. People seem to believe pictures. I have to tell my self this on a daily basis, that my home will never look like a magazine clipping as long as I live in it. Thanks for the beautiful words.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Thanks for posting this...especially when you didn't have to. Some people seem to enjoy the illusion, perhaps even enjoy making others feel they can't measure up. Sure, we know no one is perfect, but catch us on a a down day and it feels like everyone is except us. We all stop in to see your creative & beautiful photography, share a laugh, and be inspired...and what piles up in the laundry room, stays in the laundry room!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Great post! I like to take nice photos on my blog, but then I feel guilty that no one knows that I clipped the ugly brown leaf off the plant right before I took the photo. Or angled my photo so you can't see the dirty dishes in my sink. I think most bloggers understand the smoke and mirrors necessary to make a pretty photo, but I think a lot of non bloggers think we live this way all the time. It's nice to point out the reality every once in a while.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I feel so much better now that the pressure is off of me.

    ReplyDelete
  63. This was absolutely precious. Thank you for reminding us that the Internet is not real life...even on a blog. Also, that part about the lists was spot on; I have about five right this minute.

    Allyson
    http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  64. I love the pretty pictures- and your style- well, I'm sure we'd be friends in real life- and I SO GET all of this... (reading blogs as I look at a pile of ribbon making me look somewhat like a hoarder- instead of getting that ribbon put away!! ha!)
    Have a lovely day!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  65. Excuse me? Are we one in the same. You have just described me to a perfect "T". I so identify with the whole working well under pressure thing. Thanks for being real in a blog world where it is easy to only show the perfect side of life with rainbows and glitter when in actuality it is clutter and unfinished projects.

    Connie@ShadyCreekLane

    ReplyDelete
  66. Just found your blog, read this post and thought of this quote
    "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel" Steve Furtick
    xxxxxx
    Marlys
    www.bluebellcottage.ie

    ReplyDelete
  67. Comparing yourself to others is a great way to be miserable. The only person you should be in competition with is yourself. I'm sure if your friend worked hard enough she could have a garden like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I am finally cleaning my studio today, well, with several well earned breaks in between... '-)

    I found a cookbook that I haven't seen in over six months and I can now see the tops of my cutting table and work bench. Thank you for making me feel a bit more 'normal.'
    ~Lynda

    ReplyDelete